Friday, November 2, 2012

Zombie Avoidant

I think my survival hinges on one crucial question: are the animals zombies, too? If so, I'll probably concede straight away and get it over with. But if it's just us humans, I might try a little harder.

I'll assume that I'm somewhere in Lexington when the zombifying event occurs, and I'll also posit this: most zombie-like behaviors will mean that all I really have to do is survive two weeks at the max. After that point, the zombies will probably die and I'll be left mighty lonely but a little safer.

I'm not particularly inclined to stay in town in the event of this zombie apocalypse. The idea of 300,000 zombies is rather intimidating, and I like hiking anyway, so I'll just head out the the Gorge. I'll grab a Pulaski or some other trail tool that I know how to use, just in case, load up a pack with food for two weeks and various other requisite equipment, and drive out to the gorge.

Once there, I'll do my utmost to avoid unpleasant zombie contact, then I'll set up a camp eight or ten miles into the woods, which, if zombies walk as silly-ly as movies suggest, will really impede any pursuit. Once there, I'll hang out, chilling lots, and catching up on some reading. Two weeks later, I'll head back home and begin the process of doing whatever I want.

My first priority at this point would be to learn how to fly. It'd be a great time to travel the world, with very few crowds and plenty of planes at my disposal. I'd probably have to start with a simulator, and that would be somewhat contingent on some electricity, which could present a problem. But I'll figure out how to fly and jet-set all over the place.

Guns and axes and saws are nice and all, but I'll take the path of least resistance and just avoid them till they die. Then I'll do my best to have a good time. Oh, but if animals become zombies, I'm sunk.

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