Sunday, November 4, 2012

Hamster vs. Zombies

I have one simple plan for the imminent zombie apocalypse: acquire a giant hamster ball. I would seal myself inside and just roll over all them zombies. If the going got too rough, I would pop open one of the dozen or so tiny hatches placed around the ball (too small for a zombie to reach through) and open fire with a gun that I will have presumably looted from somewhere. If I cannot find any guns, that's okay too; it will simply be harder to roll around.  For food and water, I would stock up supplies in a backpack, and restock when the coast is clear by rolling up to a food or water source and popping open my main hatch to snag some.  All of these hatches would of course be watertight (but not quite airtight) so that I could float; proverbially walking on water, if you must. If I were to need a little more air at any time, I would simply pop open an upwards-facing smaller hatch to let some air cycle in before closing it again.

Now there are, of course, some flaws. The main one being, well, where the heck would I find a human-sized hamster ball that fit these specifications? Well, lets hope that the zombie apocalypse doesn't come until I have a steady income for which to construct this marvel. Problem Two: hills. I really will not enjoy having to get out and push. A solution to this problem is pending...

No comments:

Post a Comment