Sunday, November 18, 2012

Sic 'em, boy!

(Warning: This post sucks major eggs. Don't read it.)

Overpopulation is obviously an issue. With upwards of 7 billion people crammed together on one comparatively teeny planet with an even more comparatively teeny amount of livable land, there are gonna be some obvious issues. If we don't curb our baby-making rate, we'll all soon be packed together like sardines.

The solution is simple.

So many of our 7 billion people have homicidal urges. Why not let them act on them? A proportional amount of people and murderers depending on a city's population can be rounded up into an arena built specifically for the slaughter. The walls can be tall enough so that escape isn't easy, and maybe some spectator seats could be built for the lucky folks who weren't collected for the killing.

Once everyone's penned in, the murderer(s) - like a lion being released from its cage - can be set loose and do what they do best. That is, get stabby.

Not only would this be a fantastic spectacle to watch, (though not for the weak of stomach, as some killers are known to 'play' with their victims) it would also be a reassuring one. How great that we can allow people to act upon their need to kill while also solving the issue of overpopulation! It's killing two birds with one stone.

If you feel as though this idea's too extreme and too dangerous, let me put it to you this way - wouldn't you eagerly seize the chance to stab the people you hate 37 times in the chest?

Exactly.

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