Bow to the Queen

Carter is light blue. Not baby blue. Not navy.

Carter is thoughtful and kind. Carter is not a gossip queen, nor is she a manipulative bitch queen. Carter makes weird faces sometimes. Carter has good eyebrows. Carter takes selfies and sends them to me. Carter is cousins with Will. Once I broke into Will’s locker and made a small pyramid of miniature bagels. Will was so mad. We used to say “SO MAD” a lot. Will was bad at Spanish. Sometimes Carter got stickers on her Spanish quizzes. Not as much as I got stickers on my Spanish quizzes. If Carter was an animal, Carter would be a Gazelle. This is due to her patience and dark skin and running habits and general self-confidence (but a modest confidence, not a cocky kind) that she exudes. Carter sits next to me in English class. She won’t buy any of my chocolate bars. Carter says “Hi” to me in front of her popular friends….even though I’m like lame and stuff. Carter and I make fun of Ryan from across the room. Carter has this one class, called Biology that maybe seems to make her hyperventilate a little on a regular basis. In English, the class always passes all their papers to Carter. Carter is good at collecting these papers. Carter and I tell each other secrets, we don’t have many friends in common, so we never tell. Carter has 2 sisters that also have last names for first names. Carter’s mom is super artsy. Carter can’t tell if onion articles are satirical. Carter rhymes with farter. For a reason. Not really. Carter is thoughtful and kind. Carter is not a gossip queen, nor is she a manipulative bitch queen. Carter has good eyebrows.

Abby Ryan

Originally, I sat next to Michael, but then him and Bay wanted to sit together, so now I sit next to Abby. Abby is very nice, but I did not know much about her before this year. I knew of her and that she was in the academy. She is best friends with Keaton, or it appears like it. They switched numbers for their yearbook picture, so under Abby in the yearbook will actually be a picture of Keaton. I found this amusing. She had always seemed quiet to me, so I hadn't talked to her much before I sat next to her in English. I enjoy talking to her, and she is definitely not an annoying person to sit next to. She is very into math and science, and she reads math and science books, which I find intriguing because I also like math and science. The thing we have most in common is how we like math and science much more than English(sorry Mr. Logsdon) and how we don't like elaborating on our feelings and blabbing on about the same thing in English. I don't think she is sports person. I would characterize her as the color white because she is pure and very smart. She doesn't brag about being one of the smarter people in our class, but is is obvious that is is through her knowledge and the scores she gets on things. At first, we didn't talk very much, but now she has opened up and will randomly be really talkative and hilarious, which I have loved. She always has really good ideas to say in the discussions, and I try to make her say them. She is one of those people that doesn't have to be constantly talking to someone or hanging out with someone to be happy, which I am jealous of because I don't really like just being alone. She was kind of mysterious before I met her because I didn't know a lot about her life because she is very modest and I was curious about what type of person she is. I see her in five years pursuing her gifts of math and science and being successful in what she does. If she were an animal, she would be a dove because she is calm and peaceful. I have enjoyed getting to know Abby, and I hope to continue to get to know her.

satire

Disclaimer: It's best you didn't read this if you're easily offended. I'm not trying to be incendiary. I am not mocking anyone’s religion, just their behavior and the double standard they perpetuate. That said, tread cautiously.

Two teenagers are about to graduate from high school. One, John, is a good Christian boy. The other, Jude, is an atheist. Following the many-worlds hypothesis, we will analyze the alternate universe that branch off when they graduate.

Jude loses his job due to his addiction to alcohol and partying. He cheated on his wife with several different women while intoxicated. Well, no wonder, right? He tried to fill the God-shaped hole in his heart with an addictive substance, but in reality there is no other true cure for emotional malaise than God Himself. 

Naturally, he does not believe in sin, which means that he doesn’t care whether his actions are moral or not. Why care about what’s right and wrong if there is no God? After all, our innate sense of morality comes from God Himself. Atheists don’t have that morality. They think their actions don’t matter. After all, if you believe there’s no afterlife, you’re just gonna do whatever you want with the life you have, right? And if you think you came from apes, you’re just gonna act like an ape.

John loses his job due to his addiction to alcohol and partying. He cheated on his wife with several different women while intoxicated. It is clear that John was led astray by the devil. Because all men are born imperfect into a sinful nature, the devil exploited this. I’m sure John loves his wife very much because he is a good Christian man. It certainly is not his fault he cheated on his wife. John is a prayer warrior and Satan did everything he could to knock him down. And let us remember the Lord's words: let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Jude grows up to be affluent and lives in a large mansion. Clearly, he is storing up his wealth so he can make the only life he thinks he has seem meaningful. Like the story in the Bible, he stores up riches for himself, but when the Lord returns his riches will be rendered meaningless. He probably loves his money and uses it to fill the hole in his heart that yearns for God. He hates God, because the Bible says that one cannot serve two masters: you cannot serve God and money at the same time. Clearly he chose money because he doesn’t want to be accountable to God and turn his life around. He wants to live in sin. He most likely obtained his vast wealth by back-stabbing and stomping on others. After all, he is an atheist, and without God having morals and sympathy for others is impossible. All he cares about is his own benefit because he believes there is no God to serve. He is selfish and shortsighted. Remember, though, that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven.

John grows up to be affluent and lives in a large mansion. The Lord has blessed him with the fruits of his labor. After all, what you reap is what you sow: John was selfless and dedicated his life to serving God, and God paid him back for it. He clearly paid his tithe and reaped the benefit from his godliness. Of course, God loves all the impoverished Christians too. It’s okay for John to be rewarded with vast wealth for his loyalty and it is also normal for some of God’s people to remain in poverty despite their loyalty. The poor might be more devoted to God and might have pleaded with him repeatedly to help them. But God has put them there so that more affluent Christians, like John, can help them.

Jude grows up to speak publicly about his atheism. He shares his opinions with others. Well, that’s no surprise. He’s a God-mocker. He doesn’t want to take up the cross and follow Jesus’s path because he wants to live in sin, so he’s taken on hating God and mocks Him openly. Let us remember that as the Bible says, God shall not be mocked. He will be sorry the day Christ comes back to set up his kingdom on Earth. He will praise God then after he has seen His mighty power, but he will be punished because he foolishly did not believe before he saw any concrete evidence. He is a bigot; why does he even care what other people believe? He should just keep his arrogant, bigoted opinions to himself and let people believe in God if they want.

John grows up to speak publicly about his Christianity. He shares his faith with others. He is the hands and feet of Christ. He is part of the Great Commission mandated by the Lord. The Lord will reward him for sharing his faith with everyone, even with those who politely decline, because he has given them a chance for God to save their souls. He is a sagacious, shrewd servant of the Lord, living his life in the way that God would want. He is free to condemn every other religion as false and demonic; this way he will set people on the right path and teach them about the one, true religion. John is a warrior missionary for Christ and will earn a special place in the afterlife for updating his Facebook status to Bible verses to spread the good Word.

Satire: UVA Fans

Why hello, My name is Braxton Thorton, a Freshman at the University of Virginia. In my spare time I play Lacrosse and purchase overpriced items that are currently trending, which usually turns into a vicious cycle of constantly buying things that are only trending for the next few months. Maybe I should reconsider that… Anyway, I adore my Cavalier Athletic programs like I love my younger cousin. Even though he’s talentless and has been for many years, I pretend to love him because it what I’m told I’m supposed to be doing. And I’m also apparently supposed to despise this other school in Virginia called Virginia Tech. I think they’re called the “Hogies” or something like that. Personally, I think it’s silly to name a mascot after a sandwich. However, I did encounter a VT fan the other day, and he seemed to know more about UVA athletics than I did, ha, how ironic! But, no matter, I shall still love UVA for the rest of my life, and no matter what silly facts, numbers, or names the enemy throws at me, I shall only respond with the only thing that truly matters in this rivalry, UVA was started by Thomas Jefferson, which makes us infinitely better at all things, including athletics.

Brandon Cox

Brandon Cox is one of the most optimistic people I have ever interacted with. I’ve known Brandon since the 7^th grade, as he was one of the first to greet me when I transferred to E.J. Hayes Middle. Every year since, then, I’ve had the same math class as Brandon, so I’ve gotten to know him and have several conversations with him throughout the past few years. Now, the other thing about Brandon is that he’s a country boy, and he knows it, and he is proud of it. I admire him for being true to who he wants to be, no matter what anyone else seems to think about him. Now, on a more serious note, there is one other thing I truly admire about Brandon, and that is his unconditional love for other people. No matter who it is, or what they need, Brandon is always ready to take that extra step in order to make anyone smile, or to lend a helping hand. And for that, I hold Brandon Cox as a friend, a classmate, and a role model for all people. 

She will not be sedimentary-- I mean sedentary

I sit next to Amaris Wade and Lauren Stigers, but Lauren is situated in a manner that makes me feel somewhat sketch calling her my neighbor. She is my neighbor, of sorts, but I really think our orientations (sort of perpendicular) just really throw off the neighbor dynamic. Sorry, Lauren.

I could probably tell you a good deal about Amaris Wade, but you could just ask her for that. Instead, I think I will predict Amaris' life.

Amaris will, like many other people and unlike many others, go to college. She will major in something or another and have friends and be involved but the true peak of her life will not be in college.

After college, Amaris will develop a fierce interest in complex rhetorical mechanisms. She will be enchanted by the evolution of discourse and the forward march of the English language. Her deep, immovable interest in this area will last approximately three months, and then she will shift rather dramatically.

Amaris will cycle through fascinating and varied professions-- from investment banking to pearl diving-- until finally settling on what will become a lifelong passion. Despite her current (as far as I know) lack of interest in this topic, Amaris Wade will become the world's foremost geologist.

From this age (probably around 26) until her late retirement at 83, Amaris will maintain a vivid interest in the geology of the earth. She will revive the discipline, demonstrating the increasing importance of geology as the earth continues to be subjected to human changes.

She will rock.

Leo DeCastro (I hope I spelled that correctly) and Brandon Cox

Leo: I so appreciate your off the cuff humor that is perfectly suited to any situation. It is wonderful to be able to laugh with both you and Brandon. I am ashamed to say that I really don't know much about you other than, well, nothing. Ah, I know you swim, or at least you did. And you eat crazy fast, but I knew that before this year. You are ridiculously smart and one day I hope to read an article in a science journal about some experiment you did and be able to say "Shitdamn, I know that guy." That is, if you plan on being something in the scientific profession, if not, I have pegged you wrong.

* Mr. Logsdon, I apologize for cursing in a school assignment but I feel that authenticity is the best policy and I truly would say that. Probably worse.

Brandon: I love sitting by you. Everyday I can look forward to laughing at some crude joke or comment that probably should be censored in a learning environment. It makes my day. As with Leo, I know an appalling little amount about you other than that you like trucks (or at least I think you do), live on a farm/vineyard, and are genuinely a great guy. Oh, and you like Doctor Who, which makes me love you even more! Personally, and I pray that you do not take offense to this but, I see you as a very chill dude who loves life and isn't caught up in earning a grade for something that is pointless. In my opinion you are great with people and imagine that you will enjoy whatever you do in the future because you're along to enjoy the ride of life. I really struggled coming up with ideas about what you might do in the future because I don't know your post high school interests very well so I hope my vague response does not offend you. 

Corn Bake and Shopping Sprees

On Thanksgiving the food is wonderful and all but I don't really go head over heals for it. I like the food and desert but I always feel like a beached whale afterward so I don't know if its worth it. However, my great-grandmother makes this delicious corn bake that is to die for, which I could eat multiple pans of and not feel the slightest tinge of guilt. My favorite part of the Thanksgiving holiday weekend is Black Friday. My grandmother, my sister, and I set out on Friday morning around 4:30, which is relatively later considering how early some stores open but this allows us to skip the horrendous lines and still get good deals. Typically the best deals are movies and television series, you can get a DVD or Blu-Ray that would normally go for $25-30 for a mere 4 bucks. It is magnificent! This year I purchased 20 disks for no more than $60, that's like 3 dollars a movie. I am so excited. The funny thing is that by this time next year I probably will not have watched half of these movies but it doesn't matter; I own them. They are in my collection and when I am in the mood to watch a movie I have a fabulous selection to chose from. Gah. I love to shop, but I hate to spend money so Black Friday is perfect. 

Ugh, this post has been utterly boring. I apologize for this. I must still be coming out of my turkey and gravy haze. 

Assignment 13: Do you know your neighbor?

You are juniors. You are in the Academy. You sit next to each other in Mr. Logsdon's class. There are only a few days until the end of the semester.

I think it is safe to say that you know at least a little about each other. Your understanding of each other may include extra curriculars, favorite TV shows, hobbies, but your level of familiarity may also extend into knowing each other's personality. Are they intimidating, carefree, honest?

This week, write about the person you sit next to in English class. What do they do? What are they like? What color would you characterize them as and why? Where do you see them in five years? What type of animal are they like?

I know you're in a seating chart, but you are writing about your peers. Getting to know for the past few months, I have seen you as genuinely nice people and so I expect genuinely nice things in your posts. It doesn't have to be all puppies and ice cream cones, but your entries shouldn't cut anyone down.

Minimum of 150 words - due Sunday, December 2 at 11:59 pm.

Thanksgiving

   My Thanksgiving is pretty traditional. I usually go out of town to visit my family. We usually all bring lots of food and end up having a giant meal with every traditional thanksgiving food you can imagine. We will have turkey, ham, potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, stuffing, rolls, four different pies and more. In all seriousness each of the families who came end up eating leftovers for four straight days after thanksgiving. Four amazing days. Thanksgiving for me has always been more about visiting with my family than anything else. I have a lot of cousins and grandparents who live out of Lexington and thanksgiving has always been a time when I get to see my family for a long weekend. It is always nice to visit family you haven't seen in a few months. Between eating and seeing family, thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays.

Thanksgiving

My Thanksgiving is, actually, very similar to the "stock image" that was described in the prompt. My Thanksgiving memories are, as a whole, positive and warming—filled with traditions that I will never forget. Every Thanksgiving day, I wake up to the pleasant smell of roasting turkey, cranberries, pumpkin pie, and various other delicious delights. Every year, my mom and sister cook most of the feast while my dad and I help occasionally, and every year—after the feast—my family and I visit the local theater to watch a movie of our choice. Every year, we arrive home from the theater and watch year another movie: Home Alone (don't ask me, I have no idea how that became customary). And every year, I enjoy the same routine with my family on this glorious holiday. While my Thanksgiving experience may seem as if it becomes boring and repetitive after some time, it does not; it is tradition, and family traditions such as this must preserved as it defines my family's experience and identity from that of other families'. But my family's typical Thanksgiving traditions are only a small portion of the traditions held by families and societies all over the world. In general, traditions are extremely important to human society; traditions produce distinct, characteristic cultures and help to perpetuate peace and order in societies by persuading subjects of the benefits of governmental rule. Religion is a perfect example of this. Confucian philosophy, for instance, mandates that people should conform to government policies and do whatever is required of their communities in an effort to maintain security for all.

My point is that although Thanksgiving is an enjoyable time of the year ( there is, after all, tremendous amounts of food), it is tradition and is therefore important to Americans' identity as a whole.