Sunday, September 2, 2012

Coffee and a whole lot of misanthropy


More often than not I find that I have nothing to say, which is why even typing 150 words about myself is an arduous task. I feel the pressure to create a likable persona, but as this profile of me will likely reveal, I’m dreadfully lazy and don’t have the energy to exert myself in an attempt to seem more mysterious or intelligent or whatever quality I’m meant to portray here.

To start off, my name is Amaris Wade and I love food more than I love people. My religion is coffee. I believe in coffee for everyone. I don’t know how to properly transition into a description of myself, so here’s a list of things that I don’t like.

I don’t like it when it’s sunny. I wish they sky were gray and overcast all the time. Not because I’m a mopey teenager (well, maybe I am, but that's beside the point), but because I think people are more introspective when it’s raining or cloudy or nighttime and they lose that honesty and openness by day. I don’t like lavender-scented anything.  I don’t like political correctness or when people tailor what they say to sound a certain way to others. I don’t like people who don’t like to learn. I don’t like people who make assumptions. Essentially, I don’t like a lot of typical high school students. But don’t interpret that as standoffishness. I really am very nice, honest.

The list of things I like might be infinitesimally shorter, but I’ll try to flesh it out as much as possible. I like it when nobody’s home and I have no place to be and nothing to do because that’s when I feel most free. I like it when somebody makes extra coffee for me ahead of time because they know I’ll end up wanting it. I like it when books say exactly what I was thinking but never knew quite how to express. I like it when two people can be together and let natural silence take its course and not try to fill it up with unnecessary words. Of all the things I consider “sacred,” if that’s even the right word to use, silence would have to be the most crucial to me. I like having breakfast for dinner. I like zombies and video games and all things morbid and shocking and gruesome. I like observing the way humans subconsciously defend themselves against their impending mortality and how that manifests itself in their behavior. Most of all, I like vocabulary and words, although I have an unwieldy command of them at best.

I have a lot of websites that I visit on a daily basis, but my favorite by far is Tumblr because it is populated primarily by the unapologetically strange and quirky.

I don’t have any pictures of myself, but instead I have this song which is gorgeous and lovely and everybody should listen to it at least once and be enlightened.



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