Monday, February 18, 2013

How to break it to people that you hate them

I dont hate a whole lot of people, at least not enough to make confrontation necessary. But if I really did  hate someone i would have to use a fairly orderly means of letting them know.
Step 1: start leaving pictures of mutilated animals under thier doormat at home, let the corner stick out so that theyll notice them and pick them up. if you have poor photography skills or lack photo paper, youd be just as well to leave the animals themselves.
Step 2: Start removing people from thier lives. At this point if you really hate this person you would have gone to the very reasonable lengths of finding out the information of everyone theyve ever come into contact with. Start with the perriferals, acqaintences and such then move into the family ranks. pretty soon youll have eliminated most everyone that this person has ever known.
Step 3: At the funeral of, say, the person's mother, calmly walk up to them as they sit alone at the proceedings (if youve done the job right there will be no-one left to attend a funeral). offer your hand, as if in condolence, then, with every amount of serentity possible, stare deep into thier crippled sould and say firmly "I Hate You".
Step 4: walk away cooly, leaving the perpetrator to cry quietly to themselfes in the shallow comfort of thier broken life
step 5: Eat their cat.

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