AT THIS EXACT SECOND...

...SOMEWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE...


...I am clipping my toenails while listening to hardstyle.  Yep.  I bet most people are gonna do some sort of depressing social justice post, saying that right now some little kid in Kenya just died of starvation.  Or maybe people are gonna write about how somewhere in the universe, some star is being born, some form of live coming into existence, or something else like that, all full of sickening and probably-not-genuine awe and wonderment.

Not I.  I care not for such matters.  If a kid just died, oh well.  I'll let UNICEF handle that one.  If some star I will never see is being born (I'll never see it unless it is within 70 or 80 lightyears, that is), that doesn't affect me, so I don't care.  What I do care about is the state of my toenails.  Aw man.  They be ratchet, yo.  All raggedy and jagged and hangnail-y and get-caught-in-my-sock-y and just generally disgusting and gross.  But no longer.  Because at this exact second, I am trimming these mofos.  For example, between typing this sentence and the last, I finished the left foot and moved onto the right.  Fun fact: the big toenail is always the hardest to clip.  It's all thick and junk.

And how 'bout that hardstyle?  Got my iHome right over here, blasting out sick pony-themed beats.  Yeah, I know.  It's brony music.  But that don't mean it can't be good!  The current song is Spin That Record Vinyl Scratch, while the previous was KeepOnRockin's Remix of Avast Fluttershy's A**.  And right now my heart is broken because I just discovered that KeepOnRockin' closed his YouTube account, so I can't link that second song for your listening pleasure.  Oh well.  What I can link is the song that it switched too while I was looking for those links, Legend of Equestria.  Great fun all around.

And now my toenails are finished.  All nice and short and neat.  What a relief.  Now I'm opening a new tab to check to Tumblr.  What a fun and exciting way to spend a Saturday night!



...I'm so alone...