I
literally don’t even know what to say about Ben Swanson. He is beyond words. He
may be a mythical creature but I have yet to confirm this. I have evidence
however that he is a shapeshifter. Ben Swanson looks cool and professional from
afar. But when you look closer he is really a cleverly disguised
African-American girl, which explains his obsession with African countries. He
is all sorts of sassy. He looks calm but I’m sure that in the right situation
Ben wouldn’t hesitate to smack a bitch down. He makes fun of the dumb things
other people say with me, which is a huge plus. He is effortlessly smart which
makes me loathe him. The fact that he always works on homework when there’s a
lull in class also incurs my hatred. My favorite thing about him, though, is
that he never tries to make me talk. He’ll listen to me when I want to talk,
which is perhaps his most enigmatic feature, and I applaud him for that.
In ten
years Ben Swanson will be the first Jewish President of the United States.
During his inauguration he’ll swear on the Torah which will be hella dope.
If I
didn’t sit next to Ben I’d envision him as a shade of cool blue but now that I
know him I would say he is a fiery orange-red, like a tigress in the African
savanna.
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