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Reflections like this are kind of a confusing process for me. Not because I don't think things have changed in Junior year. In fact they've changed too much. It's rather hard for me to view Junior year as one complete process of growth because there were little changes and growths scattered all throughout it, and some superseded previous ones that occurred in this same school year. I've never really been prone, I think, to think of my life very much in the form of school years, but rather in the form of individual developments which might overlap even within a school year.

Anyway, I decided the best way for me to go about this comparison was probably to directly compare Sophomore Michael to Junior Michael. Fortunately I've got a link to my blog for Mr. Behler's class sitting right there on the Blogger homepage, so that was a useful place to start on that end. As for what to compare it to, of course there's always my own thoughts and opinions, but also I can use those mediums which I've used to communicate those in Junior year - my blog posts for this class, as well as my personal and unnamed Tumblr blog (yeah you guys aren't going to be seeing that.)

So what changed? If I had to say it in a word, I think it would be: individuality. Which is always something I've prided myself on, to some extent or another. Hell, in middle school I thought I was pretty individual. But of course modern Michael can see that middle school Michael was pretty much just following exactly what his allies-in-bitterness were saying on the internet. All the snobbery about music taste and religious views and stuff back then wasn't really terribly warranted.

Which is not to say that any such snobbery today is either, really. But I think at the very least I've become more comfortable in defining myself based on what I discover and come up with, not what others do. I've become more comfortable, I think, with allowing myself to enjoy what I enjoy, to feel what I feel, without always wanting to measure up to some imagined standard. My blog for Behler's class had a boring black background. My Tumblr's is pink and creative. And I'm damn okay with that.

Junior year has been about self-discovery. It's been about figuring out who I am and what I want. It's been about figuring out who and what I like, and why that is, and why I don't like certain things or people. It's been about figuring out what's important to me. About figuring out what makes me tick, about understanding myself and my motives. And of course I haven't gained perfect knowledge of any of this. There's still a helluva lot I don't know about it. But that's what senior year is for! And college, and everything after that.

I experienced a lot of new things in Junior year. I still have plenty more left to experience, of course. But I don't think I'm disappointed with what I've achieved. I'm not a new person after Junior year. But I'm an improved person.

So hey, what the hell. Let's see what next year has to offer.