Grey

Fears: death in a car accident, living an insignificant life, failing to find passion, insanity
Annoyances: Republicans, just kidding; not really. lacking compassion, bigotry. (I didn't even need to specify Republicans, that's a perfect description. kidding) people screaming at lunch as if the cafeteria were a watering hole in the Saharan Desert. being woken up in the morning by my cheerful father i.am.not.happy.to.get.up. the least you could do is be mean about it
Accomplishments:  the semblance of sanity. no really. you don't understand. for my family this is major.
Confusions: religion, love, time, aging gracefully. how high school is supposed to prepare me for the real world. Oh, I get it now. its preparing us for the "Real World". mind blown.
Sorrows: sunny days. wasted time.
Dreams: to create. sip coffee in Seattle. explore the world. peace. be katherine hepburn.
Idiosyncrasies: I swear like a sailor and incessantly make alcohol related jokes; i really should have been born catholic. i write in short, choppy sentences. i laugh at everything.everything. sometimes i burst out into laughter from just thinking of a funny tv show or past event. but I dont mind, I hear laughing keeps your spirit young
Risks: i avoid the risk of taking risks. should probably try to fix that
Beloved Possessions: books (way then) iTouch (then) laptop/brain (now) i wish books were still as beloved. the portals they provide to other worlds are priceless.
Problem: what problems? oh, those things i shove to the back of my mind and hope go away. time management. motivation. reality. patience.

I blame my grandmother. god love her. but she worries about everything and the sweet thing has imparted that gift to me as well. i am most comfortable simply sitting and thinking, the best would be in a comfortable chair in front of a tall glass window over looking a field on a (grey) rainy day. but this can be haunting at the same time. i tend to go through long periods of time, as in months, when my thoughts are dominated by one singular fear. my performance in school or work is never affected, (i am a high functioning crazy) but the minute there is no more work to be done the darkness comes flooding back. when i become extremely stressed the only thing to calm me down is to clean my room, the kitchen, the living room, and occasionally the bricks on our house. I think all the way through these activities but i am in control of something. the world is bending to my command. currently my thoughts are pervaded by failing discover what i want to do with my life, never amounting to anything, dying an insignificant nothing. i want to discover something to be passionate about, something beautiful. then death can come like an old friend; peace.

Oh my lord, that paragraph has emotions in it! how is that possible? I don't have emotions. I had my heart removed to avoid this. Jesus. I blame Doctor Who. *don't you dare roll your eyes* until you watch it you have no idea. Imagine that scene in the cartoon version of the Grinch where his heart grows to 3 times its normal size. that's what Doctor Who does. this has got to stop. I need a drink.

(whoever reads this deserves some sort of payment. i know its typically rude to use acquaintances as therapists so i am happy to offer compensation)