not worth reading

Disclaimer: I am limited in the amount of time I can spend on this blog post because as of yesterday I have a newly acquired Canis lupus familiaris who has not spent much time on this earth and accordingly likes to defecate in the wrong places. As a result I’ll make this relatively quick.

Number one? I don’t know. Be independent. Grow a spine. I feel like a Felis catus some days. I need to take more initiative. I need to be more proactive. I need to go after what I want. It’s just so hard when it’s second semester of junior year and really I just don’t feel like doing anything.

I need to get some confidence. I’m ashamed to say that, even after writing an entire blog post addressing my desire to never once more give a damn, I have given so many damns that I may as well hand them out to the needy. Not giving a damn and learning to be confident are crafts that must be mastered carefully, so I promise myself that I will continue to practice.

I also need to get my license. And figure out how I’m ever going to pay for a car. Essentially I’m going to have to dedicate my life to the research of combining  Sus scrofa domesticus and birds to make one fly.

Before I finish college, I’d like to have taken steps toward being someone whose life is dedicated to philanthropy. I want to live life without seeing myself. I have one life to live, and if I live it for myself then I’ll have meant nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I want to have a direction. I don’t want to meander meaninglessly through life. I want to have mastered Chinese and visited China and Taiwan. I want to know Spanish. I want a job. I want friends who’ll last. I want to write well. I want to write with conviction. I want my writings in a newspaper or magazine. I want my short stories published. I want to have a talent I never even envisioned myself being capable of. I want to be able to speak comfortably in front of large crowds (I’m actually a reasonably calm public speaker, considering what the norm is. But still.)

Before I die, I want to have published at least two books. I want to have read almost every classic I can think of on a plane or train or boat headed to another country. I want to keep and hold dear the friends I have always known would be instrumental in my life. I want to adopt a kid. I want a significant other I have a mutual understanding with. I don’t know. I figure I’ll figure it out on the way. Hopefully. Probably.

Another of my goals is to not write boring, cliché blog posts like the one above. Sorry if you had to read that. I’m usually more interesting, honest.